COUNSELLING
Who Can Benefit from Counselling?
Christian Counselling vs. Secular Counselling
Counselling Styles Suitable for Christians
Qualities of a Good Counsellor
Who Can Benefit from Counselling?
Dr Margaret Lepke is a highly trained Christian counsellor, mediator and mentor. She explains that counselling is for normal people of all ages who have the wisdom to seek help when they feel overwhelmed by tough situations, or find it hard to make important decisions. A good counsellor will walk alongside you and help to work through your difficult issues. In doing so, she will also encourage you to think more laterally, help find the underlying causes for your problems, and facilitate increased awareness. And most importantly, she will help you find suitable strategies to achieve your desired goals and empower you to make good choices.
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Christian Counselling vs. Secular Counselling
Is Counselling Compatible with Christianity?
The word counselling can have multiple meanings, including offering advice and encouragement, sharing wisdom and skills, setting goals or resolving conflict. As a general rule, both Christian and secular counsellors share the same desire to help people overcome their problems, find meaning and joy in life, and become healthy and well-adjusted individuals, both mentally and emotionally.
Christian counselling is distinct from secular counselling in that it rises to another dimension. The International Association of Biblical Counselors puts it this way, "In contrast to psychologically-integrated systems, Biblical counseling seeks to carefully discover those areas in which a Christian may be disobedient to the principles and commands of Scripture and to help him learn how to lovingly submit to God's will."
Christian counsellors are able to do just that because they have an absolute standard by which to measure their objectives and evaluate their counsellee's lifestyle. They see the Bible as the source of all truth. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 says, "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." The secular counsellor has no such standard and instead uses the latest psychological findings or societal norm, both of which change with the winds of time. Therefore, a secular counsellor has no absolutes with which to judge morals and the choices people make.
Christian counsellors understand that the Bible has a lot of practical wisdom about human nature, marriage and family, human suffering, and so much more. By using biblical concepts in counselling, they can instruct people in the way they should go and also hold them accountable. Psalm 119:24 says, "Your statutes are my delight; they are my counselors."
Although Christian counsellors often use skills from the field of secular psychology and counselling, they recognise that the Bible, not psychology, is the final authority. "His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness (2 Peter 1:3). A Christian counsellor's major strategy is therefore to help their clients substitute biblical truth for error as they go about their day-to-day lives. They know that the truth, when known, believed and obeyed, sets people free. When people are set free, they are fulfilling their true calling. "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free" (John 8:32).
A CLIENT'S TESTIMONY:
"We have been married for 25 years and are blessed with four children. Our family life has been quite happy, but that doesn't mean we haven't needed a bit of 'marital realignment' from time to time. Our Christian counsellor has provided a wealth of wisdom and sound judgment to make our marriage sparkle again, and the relationship tools we have picked up are serving us well as we continue to face life's challenges together."
Christian counselling is distinct from secular counselling in that it rises to another dimension. The International Association of Biblical Counselors puts it this way, "In contrast to psychologically-integrated systems, Biblical counseling seeks to carefully discover those areas in which a Christian may be disobedient to the principles and commands of Scripture and to help him learn how to lovingly submit to God's will."
Christian counsellors are able to do just that because they have an absolute standard by which to measure their objectives and evaluate their counsellee's lifestyle. They see the Bible as the source of all truth. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 says, "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." The secular counsellor has no such standard and instead uses the latest psychological findings or societal norm, both of which change with the winds of time. Therefore, a secular counsellor has no absolutes with which to judge morals and the choices people make.
Christian counsellors understand that the Bible has a lot of practical wisdom about human nature, marriage and family, human suffering, and so much more. By using biblical concepts in counselling, they can instruct people in the way they should go and also hold them accountable. Psalm 119:24 says, "Your statutes are my delight; they are my counselors."
Although Christian counsellors often use skills from the field of secular psychology and counselling, they recognise that the Bible, not psychology, is the final authority. "His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness (2 Peter 1:3). A Christian counsellor's major strategy is therefore to help their clients substitute biblical truth for error as they go about their day-to-day lives. They know that the truth, when known, believed and obeyed, sets people free. When people are set free, they are fulfilling their true calling. "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free" (John 8:32).
A CLIENT'S TESTIMONY:
"We have been married for 25 years and are blessed with four children. Our family life has been quite happy, but that doesn't mean we haven't needed a bit of 'marital realignment' from time to time. Our Christian counsellor has provided a wealth of wisdom and sound judgment to make our marriage sparkle again, and the relationship tools we have picked up are serving us well as we continue to face life's challenges together."
"For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart" (Hebrews 4:12).
Counselling Styles Suitable for Christians
Margaret does NOT endorse psychoanalysis, psychotherapy or humanistic/existentialist models, but instead suggests cognitive behaviour therapy (see Romans 12:2), systems theory, and a holistic style of counselling. She believes in looking at a problem from different perspectives to provide assessments concerning all four dimensions of the human realm (feelings, thought processes, behaviour and social context). This may incorporate a variety of approaches to adapt the counselling process to individual client needs:
- Modelling and rehearsal strategies
- Self-management programs
- Person-centred approaches
- Cognitive restructuring
- Re-decision work
- Anxiety reduction work
- Communication skills building
- Relationship skills building
- Strategies for parents with teens
- Strategies for young children
- Conflict management skills
- Negotiation strategies
Qualities of a Good Counsellor
A good counsellor is genuine, truthful, warm, open and friendly. She is concerned for you as a unique individual and has an unconditional, positive regard for you. Empathy, acceptance and a non-judgmental attitude are just as important as the ability to remain impartial. A good counsellor also has highly developed 'active listening' skills and the ability to easily form meaningful relationships with all types of clients.
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